Christie (agentbristow85) wrote in low_self_esteem,
Christie
agentbristow85
low_self_esteem

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Newbie...

Hey, I'm new :) I joined this community because I've realized over the past few months that I have a serious issue with my self-esteem. It's not that I don't have self-confidence, I'm not shy and I love to be the center of attention (I sing, act, dance and love to be on stage) and I'm not afraid to be a total goofball! It's not even my body, I'm just about 5'3 and I weigh around 125-128 and wear a size 4-6 in most brands. It doesn't even bother me that I have a "pooch" and my thighs aren't as toned as they could be as that is my fault for sitting on the couch and eating too much fatty bad for me foods!

The big problem is my face...I absolutely HATE how I look, I see myself in the mirror, even when my hair looks great and I have makeup on I still cringe. I'm a few weeks shy of turning 19 and I feel like I still look 15 and I have a fair amount of baby fat on my face that doesn't help the situation. If you were to see a picture of my face you would think I was 50-60 pounds heavier than I really am. I hate my nose (it's big) and because I have a fat face (it's like a fat oval shape) my eyes and lips (which are actually GOOD features) get lost and the focus (IMO) goes to my big nose and chubby cheeks.

I don't know what to do and I constantly find myself complaining and even I'M sick of it :( I just want to feel pretty again, Hell, I can't even accept it when a friend tells me I'm pretty because I find it impossible to believe. Another thing that doesn't help is that in terms of personality I'm really confident, I flirt a lot with guys and am friendly and have a good sense of humor, etc...But I've never had a boyfriend for more than a month (and there has only been one REAL case of that)...Guys aren't interested in me, plain and simple...It's not that I am dying to be in a relationship because i'm happy being single, I've just never felt "Wanted" by a guy and the aforementioned one month "real relationship" was with a guy who wanted me a little too much and it was a little creepy.

Anyway, any advice would help...I'm hoping this is a phase I'm about to grow out of and that I'll learn to find the beauty in myself and stop whining about this....Thanks everyone

Christie
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